I understand that being a man is not easy. Women are strange and mysterious creatures who seem, to men, to defy the rules of logic. Energetically and sexually speaking, women are pretty much the opposite of men. This is an undeniable fact.
Still, for around 90 percent of the population (those who aren't lucky enough to be gay), the coupling between man and woman is an inevitable and potentially stormy part of life.
I'm sure you have felt yourself at loggerheads with your lover at times. She refuses to look at things logically and is completely incomprehensible. In the bedroom, she can be passive and you feel frustrated. It can be confusing and distressing for both genders.
Let’s face it, in many ways, the relationship between men and women is in a state of crisis. The #Metoo movement, while certainly necessary, has demonstrated the dynamic of accuser and abuser that has become the dominating theme between the sexes, rather than emotional connection.
Men are complaining that their partners are ruining sex by being passive in bed; women are saying that men are ruining sex by hurting them or being too aggressive.
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Nobody wants this dynamic in the bedroom. The natural state between two lovers is harmony: they are engaging in an eloquent dance of equals. You are the man and as a woman, I genuinely feel for you. You have been cast into the role of perpetrator (and some men certainly deserve this label), but your deepest instincts may be towards love and harmony.
You just want to be part of the beautiful dance of love, just like we do.
I, a woman, am not writing this article to criticize you or to put you down. I'm responding here to the husbands who have been ringing me for advice because their wife won't have sex with them and for the men who contact me asking how to be better in bed.
I want to share with you my experience as a woman, a tantra educator, and sexological bodyworker so that you can use this knowledge. After all, people having great sex are happy people and happy people make a better world.
I know that we are different from you and we can seem like a puzzle. But we are very simple to understand if you look at us in the right light. A woman is like a flower and as a man, you need to open her gently.
Men, who have overcome being controlled by lust, make the best lovers. That's why meditators make the best lovers, they have learned, at least to some extent, how to master their minds. If your mind is in your penis, it is leading the way. There is a reason people say the word "d*ckhe*d".
In martial arts, we say that where the attention goes the energy goes. Bring your attention and energy into your heart and then you will find the connection with the woman.
As a tantra educator, I have come to realize that most women, to some extent at least, are in a state of trauma. This means they are shut down to various extents. They can be traumatized by anything from a strict religious upbringing to physical trauma.
This is why so many men are complaining about passive partners. Learning how to open them again is actually quite easy if you follow a few simple steps.
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There is one element that is more important than anything else. That is energy. Women pick up on energy much more acutely than men. They may not explain it logically but they feel it and they will follow it. If you are coming from a place of love from your heart, she will feel it and respond.
I am often approached by sexually frustrated husbands. Their wife does not want sex with them anymore. I can feel their frustration because their sexual needs are not being met.
But I also feel the energy that they are bringing to their wife. It’s not love; it’s lust and frustration and the woman recoils. If he approached her heart with love, he would find the key to opening her up and getting what he wants.
Here are 13 simple points which will allow you to open up any woman, even if she is completely sexually blocked. Remember that ultimately, she is the Goddess and you will find that you are achieving just what you want.
If she is climbing all over you and ready to go, that's great. But you can still use these tips to optimize the energy and maintain the connection and chemistry in the long term.
This is the magic formula not only for you to get what you want but also how to be better in bed to make your partner a happy lady:
1. Being a great lover starts before you enter the bedroom.
Women need to feel safe to be able to enter ‘the dance’. Make sure she knows how special she is to you. Show her that you will listen to her talking and give her respect and understanding, even if you don’t understand her.
My Tantra teacher would say that women naturally speak from the heart (as opposed to men who speak from the brain). Therefore, he said, the woman is always right because the heart is always right.
In other words, she is not speaking with logic but about how she feels. Analyzing her feelings with logic will only lead to disharmony. Things may not make logical sense but she is telling you what her heart is telling her. Don’t try to rationalize it, just feel it too and let it go. Remember she is the Goddess.
It's a good idea to talk about where you are going. Discuss your desires and fears, expectations, and boundaries.
2. Create connection.
Connection is the key to creating the magic that makes a sexual encounter really exciting and fun. Eye contact plays a major part in this. The eyes are the doorway to the soul. Eye connection creates magic and intense feelings.
Since women are ruled by their hearts, creating a connection with their heart is essential. Placing your hand over her heart
Keywords: intimacy, sex, intimate sex
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